Miss Diane, Can Vince come out to play.............

A few days ago I did a post about our first house in Edgewood, Md.

 

Just across the street and down two houses was an Italian American named Vincent, everyone called him Vince. It turns out that we became great friends and did stuff together very often. I remember one time when it was snowing and I went over to their house, knocked on the door, when his wife answered I said "Miss Diane, can Vince come out to play." We got into trouble together often enough but Vince was always did some really dumb stuff.

Vince Loved Pabst Blue Ribbon...........

I will start by saying Vince liked to drink beer. He worked at General Motors in Baltimore and always drove a Volkswagen. He would pick up a six pack of beer after work and I do not know how, he would drink it on the way home without ever taking the cans out of the plastic six pack holder. He would get home every day with six empty cans still in the holder. Maybe it was a joke, I am not sure but many times I have seen the empties still in a six pack.

I have told you about crabbing on the Chesapeake, this provides an opportunity to have fun a Vince’s expense. He loved crabs and to tell the truth his back yard crab feast was the first I ever attended. It was a great time. Well Vince liked to crab with turkey necks and a string.

One Saturday I was at the boat dock when Vince showed up with his small boat I watched him launch it in the water. As he pushed it off the trailer into the water at the boat slip things became unbelievable. He untied the boat a pushed it into the water but forgot the replace the bilge drain plug in the back of the boat, suddenly it started to fill up with water, Vince jumped into the water trying to lift the water laden boat up out of the water, needless to say, it sank. Of course by now there was a crowd on the dock cracking up watching Vence struggle with his boat.

Vince loved his Volkswagen...........

That little story is not worst case, Vince loved the old Volkswagens and owned one as long as I have known him, one morning on his way to work, Vince started to back out of his driveway and hit a garbage can sitting behind his car. Out of the car came Vince yelling at his house wanting to know who left the can in the drive way, he walked behind his car an pulled the can out from under his car. Unfortunately, he left the car running and in with the transmission out of gear, no emergency brake. You have to know what is coming now, yes Vince ran over himself. The car rolled backwards knocked Vince to the ground and wound up on top of him. We ran over and pushed the car off him but he was never able to live it down.

This was Vince's Plan.............

On another occasion Vince decided to open up his kitchen by removing part of the wall that separated the kitchen from the dining room. His plan involved cutting out the wall to bar level and putting a counter top on the wall to allow a useable bar and to open up the two rooms. When Vince made up his mind to do something he did it. He struck a line down wall and took his power saw to it.

This was Vince's Results....................

Unfortunately, he failed to consider that it was a load bearing wall supporting the second floor of his home. When the ceiling started to fall he had to quickly support it with a post where the old doorway was. He also failed to consider that there was electrical wires and water pipes inside the wall. When water and sparks started to fly he had to rethink his project. He finally completed the project but only after he had an electrician and a plumber in to correct the problems. Vince was always into something like that and it never worked out according to plan.

Just imagine, Vince with the doors closed on his neck............

Vince always thought his neighbor next door was nuts, and always spying on him. It did always seem the when he did something stupid he would look up and the neighbor was there watching. One example of that is when he was having a problem closing the doors on one of those sheet-metal storage sheds. The doors slid to the center and could be locked, on this day something was causing the doors to jam, he could not figure out what the problem was so he stuck his head through the door and pulled on both doors, needless to say what ever the obstruction was had cleared and now the doors closed, on his neck, his head was inside. When he managed to get them open enough to get his head out he looked around, yes the neighbor was watching.

Miss Diane, Can Vince come out to play...................

We moved away in the early 1980's and did not go back until after I retired in 2001. I walked up to the door, knocked and when Diane answered the door I said "Miss Diane, can Vince come out to play." Instantly, she knew who I was, we had a great visit, catching up on years of news.

This may be the only thing that did not happen to my friend Vince..............

I hope to find more of you folks that have a neighbor like Vince, he is truly a wonderful friend, good for lots of laughs but always in some sort of trouble. Please tell me your stories.

Oh, by the way, my friend, Mr Vince, like me, has not had a drink of alcohol for years now, May 28, 2011 will be 24 years for me..........